How to Lead Family Worship as a Father Who Feels Unready

To lead family worship as a father, begin with a short prayer, sing a hymn, read a short passage of the Bible, ask one question and pray together, at the same time every day. You do not have to be a pastor or a gifted speaker to do it, and you are allowed to feel unready.

Many fathers are afraid they will say the wrong thing in front of their children. If that is you, I want to encourage you. Let me show you a simple pattern, what to do when you do not know the answer, and what to do when you fail. And then I want to point you to the One who leads us all, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Why God gives this work to fathers

The Bible speaks to fathers directly. “You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The Lord said of Abraham, “that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of Yahweh” (Genesis 18:19).

That does not mean mothers have no part. A mother prays, teaches and sings with her children. But the Bible asks a father to take the lead and to see that it is done, and a family notices when the father opens the Bible.

How to lead family worship, a pattern for tonight

1. Gather the family at the same time and place, and keep your phone away.
2. Say a short prayer, such as “Lord, open Your Word to us and help us to listen.”
3. Sing one hymn, even a single verse.
4. Read a chapter, or part of one, slowly and clearly.
5. Ask one question, such as “What did you notice?” or “Where do we see Jesus here?”
6. Pray together, and ask each child if there is anything they would like to pray for.

The session for Mark chapter 1 follows this order and has the questions prepared, so you can lead it on your first night without any planning.

When you do not know the answer

Your child will ask something you cannot answer. Say, “I do not know, but let us look at what the Bible says,” and look at the passage together. If you still cannot answer, tell your child you will find out and come back to it the next day. A father who admits he does not know, and then goes and looks, teaches his children to take God's Word seriously.

When you stumble and when you lose your temper

You will fail. You will be tired, you will snap at a child during the reading, and you will skip days. James says, “For in many things we all stumble” (James 3:2). When you do, say sorry to your family and ask for forgiveness. Then pick up the Bible again.

This is where your children see what it looks like to go to Christ for mercy. They see a father who is a sinner and who comes to the Lord again the next day. John writes, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins” (1 John 1:9). That promise is as much for the leader of the family as for anyone in it.

Include your wife and the children

Ask your wife to pray, to read a section and to help with the questions. Let the older children read the passage aloud or choose the hymn. When a father leads humbly and gives others a part, the children learn that family worship belongs to the whole family and not only to Dad.

Your first month

In the first week, aim for five days out of seven and ten minutes each. In the second week, add a hymn that the family will learn by singing it every day. In the third week, invite the children to take a part. In the fourth week, think about what has helped and what has not, and ask the family what they would change. A month of this is a good beginning.

Why Christ is your confidence

Jesus said, “I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me, and I in him, the same bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). A father cannot change his children's hearts, and he cannot even keep his own heart steady for a whole day. He can come to the Lord every day and ask for help, because Christ died for sinners and rose again, and He saves all who turn from sin and trust in Him. “Let us therefore draw near with boldness to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace for help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

So lead by example. Pray in front of your children, read the Bible in front of them, and call them to repent and believe the gospel. We do not assume they are saved, and we keep praying for them.

Common questions

What if my wife is better at this than I am?

Let her help, and keep leading. Thank her for what she brings. You do not need to be the best teacher in the house to be the one who gathers the family.

What if I am not a believer, or my faith is weak?

Turn from your sin and trust in Christ, who died for sinners and rose again, and ask God for mercy. Read the Gospel of Mark alone or with your wife, and talk to a pastor or an elder at your church. You can be honest with your family that you are learning too.

How long should I lead for?

Ten to fifteen minutes is plenty for most families. A short time every day does more than a long time now and then.

Brother, you can begin tonight. Open a session and lead your family in it. The Family Worship App is free, as a ministry of Cornerstone Reformed Baptist Church, and if it helps your home you can give here so that other fathers can use it too. May the Lord strengthen you, and bless your home with His Word.