Song of Solomon

Song of Solomon 5: A faithful friend in marriage

Begin in prayer

Before we read of a night when love was missed, let us ask the Lord to teach our family what a faithful friend is, and to show us the friendship of Christ.

A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

Father in heaven, please open our eyes as we read Your Word. Thank You that marriage is a faithful friendship, and that You made husband and wife to seek each other. Show us Jesus, the friend of sinners. Make us more like Jesus. And please bless our family as we worship You together. In Jesus' name, Amen.

See where we're going

The chapter begins with the husband saying he has come into his garden, and he invites his friends to eat and drink. Then the young woman tells of a night when she was asleep, but her heart was awake, and her beloved knocked. She is slow to get up, and when she opens the door, he has gone, and he does not answer her call. She goes out to look for him, and the keepers of the walls beat her and take her cloak. She asks the women of Jerusalem to tell him that she is faint with love. They ask what makes her beloved better than any other, and she answers with a long praise of him. She ends, “This is my beloved, and this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem.”

As you read Song of Solomon 5, look for the answers:

Reflect together

Key truth

God made marriage a faithful friendship, and a husband and wife seek each other when love is hurt.

The chapter opens with joy at a feast, and then it tells of a night when love was missed. Her beloved knocks and calls her tender names, “my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled” (verse 2). She says she has taken off her robe and washed her feet, and she asks whether she must get up (verse 3). By the time she opens the door he has gone, and the poem does not say why (verse 6). She goes out into the city to find him, and the keepers of the walls beat her and take her cloak (verse 7). She does not give up, and she asks the women of Jerusalem to tell him that she is faint with love (verse 8). When they ask what makes him better than other men, she praises him from his head to his legs (verses 10 to 15). She ends by calling him her beloved and her friend (verse 16). Christ gave Himself for His church out of love (Ephesians 5 verse 25), and Jesus called His people friends (John 15 verse 15).

How does Song of Solomon 5 show us that God made marriage a faithful friendship, and a husband and wife seek each other when love is hurt?

God made marriage a friendship that lasts.

At the end she says, “This is my beloved, and this is my friend” (verse 16). She calls him both, so the love between them is a love of friends. God made the woman as a helper comparable to the man, a true companion in his life (Genesis 2 verse 18).

When love is hurt, a husband and wife keep seeking each other.

On the night in verses 2 to 6 her husband knocks, and she is slow to open. By then he has gone, and she goes out into the city to find him. The poem does not hide that people in marriage can miss one another. She does not stop looking, and she sends word through the women of Jerusalem that she is faint with love (verse 8). Husbands and wives will fail each other, but Christ never leaves His people (Hebrews 13 verse 5).

She knows her beloved is worth seeking.

When the women ask why he is better, she calls him “The best among ten thousand” (verse 10). She describes him with gold, ivory, marble and cedars, because to her he is precious (verses 11 to 15). To her he is more than a husband. He is a friend. Jesus called His people friends, and He gave His life for them (John 15 verses 13 to 15).

Memorise

This is my beloved, and this is my friend

Song of Solomon 5:16

Looking to Jesus in my life

Ask yourself in your heart, do I trust Jesus, who laid down His life for His friends?

She calls her husband “my beloved” and “my friend.” A faithful friend is a gift from God, and in marriage that friendship is meant to last. Yet we have all failed our friends, and we have all failed God.

Jesus said there is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends, and then He did it. He went to the cross and ransomed His people with His own life, and nothing is missing from what He did. The tomb could not keep Him, for Christ rose with power. He is the friend of sinners.

So come to Him. Turn from your sin and put your trust in Jesus. Everyone who trusts Him is forgiven, and He calls them friends and does not leave them.

Parent's note

Tell your children that God made marriage a faithful friendship, and that Jesus is a friend to sinners who trust Him. Please do not tell them they are saved just because they grew up in a Christian home. Please explain verses 1 to 6 and 10 to 16 in your own words. Call each child to turn from sin and trust Jesus, and pray that God would give them a new heart.

Pray together

Now please close your time together in prayer. Thank God for faithful friends in marriage, and for Jesus, who does not leave those who trust Him, and bring the heart question to Him. Every child can pray, so let each one say a short prayer if they want to.

I am continually with you. You have held my right hand.

Psalm 73:23

Father, we thank You for the gift of a faithful friend in marriage. Thank You for Jesus, who gave His life for His friends. We have failed our friends and You, so please help us to trust Him. Teach our family to be kind and patient with one another when we are hurt. Amen.